Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Ring out the bells again
Like we did when Spring began
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends.
It always surprises me the impact music can have during a painful time. It was sobering last night to hear a song that I hadn't especially liked previously, suddenly ring true in a way I didn't expect. Such was the case with the Green Day song above.
I guess this defines the promise of art – the way it can rise at the right time and stick to a situation with such precision. Articulating what words alone cannot.
I recall it was the same immediately after September 11 2001, when so many people felt compelled to pump up U2's "Beautiful Day" on their car stereo, simply because they needed a purging blast of "ride-the-rails" music to give them a lift.
Amid all the America-bashing that many of us may have done over the last few years, it pays to remind ourselves too of the rough times ordinary Americans – those not dripping with diamonds or running oil corporations – have seen in this decade.
I'm no great fan of America's current government. But as someone who spent a happy three years as a child in the US, I do know that there is a vast difference between "America" as a symbol and ordinary Americans.
September 11, the Afghanistan and Iraq Wars and now Hurricane Katrina have torn into the confidence of middle America. For the nation's biggest-ever terrorist attack to be followed by its biggest natural disaster in less than five years is soul-destroying for a lot of people. And in between, for so many young soldiers to be sent off to a war, about which most Americans are at best uncertain, makes the going even tougher.
We should remember that individual people are not super-powers. And for many of us in Asia who have lived through our own tumultuous times, we should feel empathy right now, rather than a wrongly placed sense of justice – which I've overheard from a few, and admittedly felt a few times myself.
Human nature isn't always pretty or well considered. But then, that's what makes us so interesting.
What has occured to me over the past two weeks is the way in which New Orleans shaped the cultural psyche of many Americans, despite their present day differences. The New Orleans of writers from Mark Twain to Jack Kerouac – and musicians from Leadbelly and Charlie Parker to Wynton Marsalis, Credence and Paul Simon – infused the country with its rich vein of cultural diversity and creative expression.
For those of us who love to travel to beautiful and vibrant places, the loss of the Mississippi Delta region, for however long, is a tragedy. Politics comes and goes like the rain – but soulful places stay with you forever.
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends.
All the hours that I've wasted on this stupid US Election, all the hardship and lower back pain, not to mention all the complaints of my poor girlfriend as I've poured over another election website.... is almost over.
And since I am self-employed and addicted, tune into and update this blog tomorrow (election result day) Singapore time to get an off-the-cuff, no holds barred, and hopefully more-often-funny reading of this election as it unrolls. I also plan to suggest some good tracks to listen along the way.
The American Erection: 10pm
First of all, my web awards.
Best site in terms of analysis: www.electoral-vote.com
Best Weblog: www.electablog.com
And funniest stunt: www.votergasm.org
If you don't have the stomach for either of the first two, at least check out the third.
Imagine, you go out for a few drinks the night before the election. The boys are exceptionally funny on this particular night, and the beer is oh so cold... and all of a sudden, you wake up next day, and.... doh!
The damn vote. Ah, well, I'm in Cali, right? Can't be a problem, surely?
Wrong! At least if your partner has signed the Votergasm.com pledge "Not to have sex with a non-voter for the next four years."
Hilarious. Now that's power, I say. It's the election or the erection, you choose.
Tune in tomorrow.... Although, with the results looming... who can sleep tonight with all this excitement.
11pm: What's the time Mr Wolf?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uselections2004/story/0,13918,1341533,00.html
Check out the link above. Sorry, I'll try to sort out my hyperlinks. Anyhow, if you add eight hours to the time noted, it'll show at what different times of day the results are expected to get interesting.
12am Kerry's Gotta Learn Rap
Alright stop, collaborate and listen. A political historian just told BBC World that if he wins, then Kerry "better learn rap." Seems that a key to this election is deemed to be the "MTV Generation", who if they can be bothered, could swing the election in the Democrat's way.
Well already with turnout seemingly at record levels, the signs appear to be pretty good – so long as the kids can handle rain and queuing. Please, somebody bring beer!
And man oh man, I can't wait to hear those first refrains that Kerry utters as the booming bass loop kicks in.... "Don't Call It a Comeback / You said I was gone / Now I say Bring It On". It could make Felluja look almost sedate.
Not only that, but imagine what Xibit and the team from West Coast Auto could do to AirForce One. "Pimp my plane!"
8:25am Bring the Noise
There is freedom without
Trying to catch a deluge in a paper cup
A bit of noise early, but I wouldn't pay too much attention. Mainly because I've had no coffee yet. But it seems there's a massive voter turnout already, including a big swathe of younger voters.
The TV channels are already promising to behave themselves, after 2000's Florida debacle. Such a shame, it was kind of fun watching CNN crawl.
However, a long time to go. BBC has 34 to Bush, 3 to Kerry. Once again, no news there, as there are close to 200 electoral votes per candidate that are already in the bag.
The winner so far? Starbucks.
9am Born to Run
CNN is starting to call some states, though nothing huge yet. It calls Kerry now 77, Bush 66 in terms of electoral college votes. Remember, 270 to win.
So far, all these were seats expected to belong to the candidates. However, Kerry is forcast to have kept New Jersey his. Good news for him, as it was at one stage looking sketchy.
If Kerry won, would we talk of a "Boss" effect? Could Springsteen even get a small spot in the White House. Meaningless conjecture of course. Keep it here!
9:41 What happened to Outkast?!
Was a bit upset about North Carolina going Bush. Not because it matters to the race, it was expected. But I was hoping the influence of Outkast on the musical map of the last four years had given a better chance that the South might have become cool again.
I'm sorry Ms Jackson,
I am for real
Anyhow, still hope in the South perhaps: Arkansas! Haven't heard, but I've faith in the Clinton comeback effect.
Bush people are talking up Ohio and Florida. Noise, noise, I say. Workers vote late, and they vote Kerry. Retirees wake up at noon because of their bladder, and they may as well go vote.
Bush: 102
Kerry: 78
9:53am Rising Up, Back On the Street
It's the eye of the Tiger, it's the flame of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rivals.
I'm feeling ready for a battle now. That coffee is shooting through me.
Anyhow, here's a gut feeling, apart from a light heady speediness I'll attribute to Italian coffee beans.
I'll call Florida Bush and Ohio Kerry. All else being equal, that would tip it Kerry's way.
Why? Well, Presidents usually don't campaign on election day, and the only place Republicans deeemed worthy of an Air Force One journey was Ohio. I think the sun may have got them in Florida.
Others critical: Michigan, Wisconsin, Hawaii and Iowa have to stay Kerry. No news yet.
Also watch for Kerry's wins: Nevada, Colorado, New Hampshire.
New Hampshire is interesting – it's usually a weather predictor. Again, not just yet.
Oooh weeeh, there's more sweat here than a Darkness concert.
10:11am "I'm waiting for My Man..."
As the Velvets said. So far it's 157 Bush, 112 Kerry. But no changes yet. The channels are behaving. Only one electoral vote has moved – one in Maine. Relak one corner.
Go back and read the earlier entries. I seem to be pretty crap at blogging! Och well.
10:15am I feel the earth... move.... under my feet
John Greenleaf Whittier's poem "The Poor Voter on Election Day."
To-day, of all the weary year,
A king of men am I.
To-day, alike are great and small,
The nameless and the known;
My palace is the people's hall,
The ballot-box my throne!
The rich is level with the poor,
The weak is strong to-day;
And sleekest broadcloth counts no more
Than homespun frock of gray.
To-day let pomp and vain pretence
My stubborn right abide;
I set a plain man's common sense
Against the pedant's pride.
The wide world has not wealth to buy
The power in my right hand!
10:23am That Pesky Senate
Will be interesting, when you consider massive turnout, what the result is for the Senate. All these first-time voters and "usually-don't-voters" have a chance to vote for the Senate. So it looks a little like a winner takes all: you get the Presidency, you've a good shot at the Senate.
I'm picking Democrats both ways. But I've been wrong often.
Depressed? Watch a puppet-show version of Bohemian Rapsody!!
www.boreme.com/bm/OCT04/a/f-bohemian-rhapsody/fr.htm
"No, no, no, no!
We will not count the vote!
No!"
10:32 I see a red door, and I want to paint it black
Sorry about the bold type, if you saw it. It's pretty large, all this. In short though, nothing has happened, in terms of surprises. The bands are leaving all their hits until the second half of the show.
Bush: 164
Kerry: 112
10:40 The Kids Are Alright
Twice as many voters between 18-29 voted this year than in 2000. 13% of voters in Florida were first time voters.
There's more spin than a cricket match. Now we've got the "Republicans feeling better than before" line... My answer:
This is my United States of Whatver!
10:47 Don't Worry, Be Happy
Bush 170
Kerry 112
Everyone should relax about this number. So far, no close races have been reported. It's not that it's good news yet. It's just now bad news yet!
But you'll be pleased to know, my house has gas again.
10:56am I want to break free of your lies..."
Florida: Bush leads Kerry 51.7% to 47.4% with 52.8% of the precincts reporting.
Bush: 172
Kerry: 112
Take a breather. Remember that the West Coast will go to Kerry. It's all Ohio now, it seems.
11:09am I fought the law, and the law won..."
The Black Eyed Peas are already rocking the party in Boston. Where is the Love, indeed. Anyhow, early exit polls show Pennsylvania leaning Kerry, and Florida and Ohio both 5% ahead for Bush.
Still too close to call on those. All I can say is, Go Cleveland!!
"Cleveland Rocks"
by The Presidents of the United States of America) Lyrics
Ahhhhhh...
All this energy callin' me
Back where it comes from
It's such a crude attitude
It's back where it belongs
All the little kids growing up on the skids
Go "Cleveland rocks!", "Cleveland rocks!"
Jumpin' Jene Jene and Movin' James Dean
Go "Cleveland rocks!", "Cleveland rocks!"
"Cleveland rocks!", "Cleveland rocks!"
"Cleveland rocks!", "Cleveland rocks!"
"Cleveland rocks!", "Cleveland rocks!"
Mamma knows but she don't care
She's got her worries too
Seven kids and a phoneo player
And the rent too
All the little chicks with their chrimson lips
Go "Cleveland rocks!", "Cleveland rocks!"
Livin' in sin with a safety pin
Go "Cleveland rocks!", "Cleveland rocks!"
"Cleveland rocks!", "Cleveland rocks!"
"Cleveland rocks!", "Cleveland rocks!"
"Cleveland rocks!", "Cleveland rocks!"
I've got some records from World War II
I play 'em just like me grandad do
He was a rocker and I am too
Go "Cleeeveland rocks!"
"Yeah Cleeeveland rocks!"
Cleveland rocks!, Cleveland rocks!
11:15am Rocky Mountain Hiiighyigghhh Colorado
Bush: 197
Kerry: 112
Okay okay, read my lips: No real results!
Although one must remember, you always gotta prepare for the worst. But it's still looking good, kids. Ohio ruled that anyone waiting in line when ballots closed can stay there. Think about it, it is the blue collar workers that can't vote until the end of the day.
They called Arkansas to Bush. A shame, but still no real surprise. South stays red.
THE REAL NEWS:
It's now come down to Country Music versus Hip Hop!!
THE SECOND REAL NEWS:
If Bush keeps Florida and Ohio, Kerry's gotta steal a couple of small states off Bush. I say Colorado and Nevada.
Go, John Denver country, go!!
I spent two years of my childhood in Colorado. I'd be proud of 'em if those oxygen starved folks switched their vote over.
Hopefully all those college kids in Denver weren't too "Rocky Mountain High" today.
Stay tuna!
11:32am Kentucky Fried Republicans
Looks like GOP will keep the Senate, the neck and neck race in Kentucky looks like staying Republican. Old Colonel Sanders, that terrifying guy with the freaky goatee, just may have tipped it.
Good news for Kerry is the Pennsylvania looks to be Kerry by a good margin.
11:39am Wave a cigarette lighter, people
Note that CNN is now saying that "It is as close as we thought it would be." It was picked as a 49:49 race, and it's panning out like that.
Democratic Doctor Spin Joe Lockhart says Florida numbers will swing their way due to late votes in Southern Florida which is heavily Democratic. He's Bullish, though he's paid to be.
A political analyst is saying that Ohio is looking good for Ohio, in terms of the margins.
Florida is pokking better for Bush.
Remember: Kerry can win it, all things equal, if he takes one of these two states.
Aaron Brown of CNN is class. I thought so during 9/11, when he sat on a roof with the smoke in the background of the rubble of the twin towers, and spoke calmly and slowly. He referred just now to a blogster, who promised to respect the result, no matter what. Fair call, Aaron.
A little Bob Dylan, if you please.....
Blowing In The Wind
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.
How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.
How many years can a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea?
Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.
I see red, I see red, I see red
That's a cool song by a Kiwi band by the way: Spit Enz.
Anyhow, still no surprises.
11:52am FIRST BIG SWING RESULT: Pennsylvania to Kerry! Yeah baby.
11:53am A little word for those freaked out by the electoral map. Check out this map:
http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/politics/2004_ELECTIONGUIDE_GRAPHIC/
Again, sorry for lack of hyperlinks. Look at the map for past elections. The key to remember is, it's always mostly red (Republican) in terms of land space. The big states for Kerry are the populous ones like California and New York. So depsite this:
Bush: 197
Kerry: 112
...remember this: CNN is calling this historically one of three of the closest elections in history, based on these current results. It's "razor thin"!
Hahaha, Tucker Carlson, a famous young CrossFire Rebublican, is already leaning Kerry's way. Not surprised, he wrote in Esquire that he couldn't vote Bush .
NOW: Watch it get closer: California (or Culleeforneeya as the Governor says) goes Democrats.
Bush: 197
Kerry: 188
As Robert Palmer said:
Some Like it Hot
And Some Sweat When The Heat is On."
News Flash: I need a shower.
12:15 It's Like That... And That's The Way It Is."
Okay, so far these are the state up for grabs. To the left is who won it last time. Next is the number of votes to the electoral college. Forget who has it now. What's important is this:
1) Gore got 260 votes last time.
2) Kerry therefore needs to hold all of Gore's 2000 seats, and take 10 more votes from somewhere.
3) Note that if Kerry does lose a Gore seat (hasn't happened yet), he need to make up the votes, plus 10 votes. So the maths could be very interesting, as Naeema points out below.
(Bush) 5 Nevada
(Bush) 20 Ohio
(Bush) 9 Colorado
(Bush) 4 New Hampshire
(Gore) 4 Hawaii
(Bush) 27 Florida
(Gore) 5 New Mexico
(Gore) 7 Iowa
(Gore) 11 Washington
(Gore) 17 Michigan
(Gore) 10 Minnesota
(Gore) 7 Oregon
(Gore) 10 Wisconsin
These are 13 seats for grabs.
INDICATOR 1: Florida looks pretty good for Bush. That's not game over though. Ohio could win it for Kerry.
INDICATOR 2: It may come down to mail votes in Florida and Ohio... which may not be in til Thursday. Still too early to say that.
12:35 So what's the Scenario??
Kerry: 188
Bush: 197
Quote CNN: "If it were a tennis match, nobody has yet broken serve."
Okay, love these scenario games. Here's one:
1. Kerry takes Ohio, no other change. Kerry wins.
2. Kerry loses Florida and Ohio. Grabs Colorado, New Hampshire, Nevada. Kerry wins.
3. Neither of these two happen. A moment comes in history when for the first time, nett migration to and from Mexico is reversed. A mass from the East and West flow down and over the border.
Garage Rock meets La Bamba. The Strokes hit up against Julio Englasias.
You have been warned.
Still damn close. This is giving me pain!! Heh.
Thanks for reading. Do stay with me.....
12:41pm Don't Dream It's Over
Let's be realistic. Florida doesn't look good for Kerry. Insiders in the Democratic Party are calling it Bush. Off the Record at least.
BUT with 64% of the vote counted, Bush has a narrow lead in Ohio. 52:48.
That's 129,000 votes ahead, with 36% of the vote left. That's damn close. Plus New Hampshire is looking good for Kerry.
It's ain't over, red rover. But do prepare yourself for the worst. Haha. That PR in Singapore not looking so bad??
Long way to go!!
1:02pm It's Getting Hot In Here.
SECOND BIG SWING RESULT: Florida Bush.
Likely scenario:
Bush 237
Kerry 199
Jeff Greenfield notes that there's some truth in the argument that "Ohio's the new Florida". Bush is ahead of Kerry, but it's going to depend on where the votes are coming from. Karen Hughes of the Republicans predicts it's looking for. But watch this space.
1:16pm OHIO NEWS
About 75 percent counted in Ohio. Bush about 100,000 ahead. Verdict is that it's "still very much out".
1:26pm THIRD BIG SWING RESULT: Colorado Bush.
Again, Ohio-yo-yo.... It's getting tough for Kerry.
1:41pm The Great Pretender
Okay, it's getting less and less Kerry. It got tight from here this time last election, but if Ohio and Alaska go Bush, he has the 270 he needs.
Still some voters lining up in Ohio. Bush ahead by about 3%. Numbers are good for him now, and more of them are talking to the networks from their huddle.
Sadly, we may have four more years of Bush, what can I say.
Note though 70% of votes counted, still some provisionals to come in Ohio.
However: it's time for a song:
American Idiot - Green Day
Don't want to be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new mania.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindfuck America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the idiot nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.
Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the idiot nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.
Don't want to be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information age of hysteria.
It's going out to idiot America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.
1:55pm What went wrong?
Bush has got about 3.3 million votes more than Kerry so far. In 2000, he lost the popular vote by 500,000. If Bush wins as it appears, then it's the first time since 1988 that anyone carried the election with more than 50% of the vote.
My maths (BBC's) earlier was out There's still an outside chance Kerry could lose Ohio, gain everything else and end at:
Bush: 269
Kerry: 269
In which case the House of Representatives (now Republicans) vote Bush.
The reading I'd make is that Bush appealed to middle America, and said "I'm more moral and steady, I know you. Stick with me, stick with what you know." And America, shook up, agreed to give him another go."
In my opinion, the news isn't good for America, or the World. But we've been through worse.
For music? Well, good news is that we can always turn back to it. With dance music seemingly losing ground, it's time for hip hop and rock to come up. People in all the major cities, especially the youth, will feel disenchanted. The Democrats have got four more years to go to rebuild, and get rid of whoever Republicans put before them next time.
Meantime, we're going to have some major soul searching. Country music has defeated hip hop and rock. Music can only strike back. I can't wait.
Thanks everyone. It's been a blog! Will post the results, but I think you know where it's going.
Turn up your stereo, and play it loud. Life as always is in your ears.
Cheers,
Luke.
2:16pm. PS, I still love Ohio
Okay, Ohio. Currently there is a 116,000 vote difference – with 85% of votes counted.
Some networks have called Ohio to Bush. CNN hasn't.
There's a question about provisional votes. The Deomcrats say that there be as many as 200,000 provisional ballots out there.
It's a hope, but it's a threadbare one. Where are those DJs at WKRP in Cincinati when you need them?
1:26pm FOURTH BIG SWING RESULT: New Hampshire Kerry. That's one to him that Gore didn't get last time.
2:33pm Last Night, She Said...
Could be a no-result tonight.
Statement from Kerry camp: "There are more than 250,000 votes still to be counted in Ohio. We believe when they are, they will go to John Kerry."
92% of votes counted, spread at just over 100,000.
News just in. Washington state to Kerry.
Bush: 249
Kerry: 211
Electoral collage votes still to go:
Ohio: 20
Nevada: 5
Hawaii: 4
New Mexico: 5
Iowa: 7
Michigan: 17
Minnesota: 10
Wisconsin: 10
TOTAL: 78
Ohio's Ken Blackwell on CNN: Take a deep breath and relax, we're not going to start counting those ballots until the 11 days after the election.... What we can promise is an honest count."
2:53pm Green green grass of Ohio
PROJECTION: CNN says Ohio TOO CLOSE TO CALL
The state is declared a "Green State" by the CNN network. The 104,000 vote margin, with over 387,000 votes still outstanding, is not enough. If you add the 250,000 that Democrats say are still there as provisional votes, that's 600,000 votes still outstanding.
Any group of five voters could also ask for a recount.
NEWS FROM IOWA: Broken machines are presenting a result.
3:31pm FIFTH BIG SWING RESULT: Michigan Kerry.
Bush: 249
Kerry: 228
3:32pm FIFTH BIG SWING RESULT: Minesota Kerry.
Bush: 249
Kerry: 238
3:34pm SIXTH BIG SWING RESULT: Hawaii Kerry.
Bush: 249
Kerry: 242
3:54pm Check out this summary from BBC:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3976611.stm
5:02pm SEVENTH BIG SWING RESULT: Nevada Bush New Mexico very narrowly tipping Bush.
EIGHTH BIG SWING RESULT: Wisconsin Kerry
Bush: 254
Kerry: 252
George Bush leading John Kerry in New Mexico by only 3,600 votes, with 99% of precincts reporting,
Associated Press reports. But at least 29,000 absentee or provisional ballots still remain to be counted.
Currently, Bush leads Ohio by 130,000, with 99% of votes counted. Legally, Kerry looks weak, if there's only 160,00 to 250,000 provisional or absentee votes left to count.
This Is The End
It's not technically the end of this election by the looks of it, but Kerry's position isn't at all great. Not to worry, I think it's guaranteed that we've got evangalical zealots leading the White House. Fortunately, we've been here before!
Great fun, next time we'll do the blog on something less grim.
Cheers and aroha,
Luke.
Move yourself to a Florida beach and pitch a tent. Now that hurricane season has lost its sting, it's time once again for that spectator event without equal: the collosal bun-fight that the rest of the country calls an election. While the parties trade molitov cocktails in the final two weeks, the rest of the world watches with dread. Oh yes, boys and girls, this one could get ugly.
Last week 48 Nobel laureates backed Democratic nominee John Kerry in Election 2004. Earlier this week, The New York Times said Kerry was the man. Yesterday came the news that every major newspaper in Florida has suppported Kerry too. That is, except for the one that has traditionally always gone with the Republican nominee.... and it declared itself neutral.
It is election season again in the US, and this time around, it really matters.
I have a Malaysian-born friend who says she gets knots in her stomach every time she thinks of Bush getting another four years. Since August, I seldom go online without checking state by state polling. I think most of us who realise the impact of what we're watching feel pretty much the same about November 2. George W Bush makes Doctor Evil appear mild.
The president has messed up the world pretty comprehensively. But sadly it's really only us living in "the world" that seem to realise it. Sitting on his ranch in Texas, I'm sure geopolitical nuances in South-east Asia appear rather a long way away for Mr Bush. That is, unless a little voice eminating from the rocket pack strapped strategically between his shoulder blades tells him he should be thinking about it. After he thinks about doing up his fly.
The fact that "Furious George" has a little assistance with his thoughts and words should not be seen as a bad thing. I say thank God for technology. There's no way America's President will be able to sneak in nine more minutes reading that literary classic The Hungry Goat next time America is attacked. No way. The instructions in his ear would be something like:
"Close the book, George. Stand. Look grave, nod to the audience. Now turn right towards the door. No, no, the other right..."
It's no secret that I'm paying an unhealthy amount of attention to the US Election. It's highly addictive and potentially very hazardous to my entire worldview. Sometimes mid-reading, I just need to switch over to the Moby World Tour blog, just to realise that when you really ignore the world, it can actually look great. We should all be bald vegans.
I'd oust the President in ungracious fashion if I have the chance to cast the deciding vote. International polls reveal that by a margin of 2-1, this is the case for us Johny Foreigners around the world. To those who watch him from afar, Bush represents the Ugly American – and his team of overlords the Scary Americans.
But if you live in Ohio, Pennsylvania or Florida, many don't see it this way. Head by head, if you're an undecided voter in one of these swing states that command at least 20 electoral college votes each, then there's an awful lot of money and time being thrown your way to buy your eye. It makes you wonder if these swing voters aren't just shameless attention-seekers.
Bush does seem to have more problems now than a month ago. Polls show his job approval at only 44 percent, according to an NY Times poll. No encumbant president has ever been re-elected with less than 50 percent approval. And if you stack it up state by state, then according to current polling, Kerry will win it.
Problem is, there's a little country called "Margin of Error" which says basically, "if this is within a margin of less than eight percent, then don't believe us." Why exactly we continue to pay so much attention to polls therefore, is beyond me.
Whatever happens, after an unprecidentedly ugly campaign, America will remain about as divided as it has been in half a century. Based on what they have seen, the people of Afghanistan and Iraq must be pretty excited about democracy coming their way soon.
The last word on this fractious election goes to Dave Pell of Electablog.com:
"It's not about who you'd rather have a beer with. It's about who you'd rather throw a beer on."